What is Hell???
To me....
Hell, is feeling that however hard you try, you just never belong..
Hell, is being left out of a friend's party 'cos u don't meet standards..
Hell, is always being surrounded by people and yet feeling lonely..
Hell, is being compared to others, by others... even worse, by yourself and finding yourself short..
Hell, is seeing couples in love, holding each other, and wishing you were not alone..
Hell, is working hard at something and coming out second best..
But most of all... to me...
Hell, is knowing that you love someone... and that that someone does not love you at all....
What is Heaven???
To me....
Heaven, is being with someone you love, cuddling near a fire on a cold nite..
Heaven, is walks on the beach by sunset, holding hands, fingers and dreams entwined..
Heaven, is talking all nite about silly things with a friend who knows you best..
Heaven, is Christmas with the whole family, knowing that they are always there..
Heaven, is making up after a horrible fight.. and the temporary promise that u'll never fight again..
Heaven, is sharing a hug with your best friend and never wanting to let go..
But most of all... to me...
Heaven, is knowing that you love someone... and that that someone loves you too...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Attention Seeking???
For those of u who watched the movie CRASH and understood it....
In the beginning, there is a line that says something like this.. In L.A, we are so devoid of the feeling of touch that we sometimes crash into each other just to feel the touch!
I liked the movie. Let me tell u that. But this line kept coming into my head and it made me think.
I dont know how to explain this, but i'll try...
There are times when I have wanted to get into a fight with close friends just so that I could talk to them longer or have a longer messaging conversation with them. Like if i dont bring up some fight of some sort things will just go ahead in the blah sort of way.. like we prob talk abt the day and genereal stuff and go to sleep. but if i bring up a disagreement, nothing big, but something enough, then at least the contact remains there longer... do u get the point? or is it just vague?
With different people, different things hit that nerve.. so im ashamed to say that sometimes i hit that nerve purposely, just to have contact for a longer while.. then when i hurt the person i care about by saying those things, i feel bad... is it some problem? like a disorder or something..
i know a couple of friends who would say its just attention seeking. and maybe it is. I like the attention, I like having contact with people. For me.. its more about having that contact for a little longer...
A book i read somwhere once talked about how we initially have so many layers protecting us when we meet someone.. and slowly as we get to kow that person better, we may take off those layers, little by little.. but the problem arises when we take off these layers, it becomes easier for that person to hurt us cos they are now poking the real u... the one without as many layers... as the layers all come off, we feel that poke.. and it begins to hurt even more.. sometimes we dont peel off all the layers.. in rare cases, we actually peel off all the layers and we show the other person the actual u... thats dangerous.. cos then any touch is painful.. they dont have to poke too hard for it to pain.. sounds like a pessimistic thought i know.. but thats the way it is... so to save ourselves, its essential that we keep a few layers to insulate ourselves from the pain...
to say the truth, i have taken off all the layers once... i wouldn't call it a mistake cos it felt good that someone knew u so well.. but in the end... its those ppl who have the ability to hurt u easily cos they know u so well.. i am not saying that it should have been different and i dont think i would change a single thing... but this is just a thought that came up... and i thought id write it down cos after all this is just my space to write what i want about my life...
In the beginning, there is a line that says something like this.. In L.A, we are so devoid of the feeling of touch that we sometimes crash into each other just to feel the touch!
I liked the movie. Let me tell u that. But this line kept coming into my head and it made me think.
I dont know how to explain this, but i'll try...
There are times when I have wanted to get into a fight with close friends just so that I could talk to them longer or have a longer messaging conversation with them. Like if i dont bring up some fight of some sort things will just go ahead in the blah sort of way.. like we prob talk abt the day and genereal stuff and go to sleep. but if i bring up a disagreement, nothing big, but something enough, then at least the contact remains there longer... do u get the point? or is it just vague?
With different people, different things hit that nerve.. so im ashamed to say that sometimes i hit that nerve purposely, just to have contact for a longer while.. then when i hurt the person i care about by saying those things, i feel bad... is it some problem? like a disorder or something..
i know a couple of friends who would say its just attention seeking. and maybe it is. I like the attention, I like having contact with people. For me.. its more about having that contact for a little longer...
A book i read somwhere once talked about how we initially have so many layers protecting us when we meet someone.. and slowly as we get to kow that person better, we may take off those layers, little by little.. but the problem arises when we take off these layers, it becomes easier for that person to hurt us cos they are now poking the real u... the one without as many layers... as the layers all come off, we feel that poke.. and it begins to hurt even more.. sometimes we dont peel off all the layers.. in rare cases, we actually peel off all the layers and we show the other person the actual u... thats dangerous.. cos then any touch is painful.. they dont have to poke too hard for it to pain.. sounds like a pessimistic thought i know.. but thats the way it is... so to save ourselves, its essential that we keep a few layers to insulate ourselves from the pain...
to say the truth, i have taken off all the layers once... i wouldn't call it a mistake cos it felt good that someone knew u so well.. but in the end... its those ppl who have the ability to hurt u easily cos they know u so well.. i am not saying that it should have been different and i dont think i would change a single thing... but this is just a thought that came up... and i thought id write it down cos after all this is just my space to write what i want about my life...
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